Saturday, June 11, 2005

The end of the 27 year old space epic

The end of the 27 year old space epic

For those who believe Star wars is joke, abuse me and get the fuck outta here!!!For star wars is a passion!!If Star wars had been a religion,then I am sure Master Yoda would have been a god.After watching Revenge Of The Sith I was left yearning for another Star War movie.I refuse to believe The Imperial march of the star wars is over.Like any Star war fanatic I was left with tears running down my cheek when Obi wan destroys Anakin Skywalker. Yes, Revenge Of the Sith is for only those who know Star Wars by heart and the film has only that we already know.

I am still having a hard time processing the fact that I have just watched the final movie in the Star Wars saga. I'm sure as the adreniline rush passes on, I will being thinking much more retrospectively, and my overall view will likely change, but for now, I shall Basque in the excitment. RotS was great! I enjoyed the last two prequels, but this one certainly takes the cake for the best off trilogy, a fact that I am sure everyone will agree on. I would even go so far as to say it was overall better or at least just as good as Jedi, placing it firmly in my top three

The mere name Star wars evokes lot of passion, compassion for Padme Amidala.It reminds of the grueling light saber fights,Jedi knights with their cloaks,intergalactic speeders,The SITH,what all and what not!!!My mind is completely filled with the music that plays during the end credits.I want another Star wars film.But as Master Yoda would put it “Passion,Compassion,Fear,anger,Dark side of the Force they are”.With somber heart and thinking let me get into the review of the Film.

The film opens with clone army assisted by Ani and Obiwan attacking the rebel ships headed by General grievous. General grievous has Senator Palpatine under arrest.The visualizations during this battle was nothing short of stunning.Obiwan and Ani breakthrough the defenses and get inside the battleship where Palpatine is held captive by Count dooku and Grievous.Ani and Obiwan decide to take on Dark lord Dooku.But this time they do it together.Anakin kills dooku in a way that doesn’t confirm to the Jedi order. General Grievous escpaes! Obi Wan faces a near death experience from which Ani saves him.They get back to Coruscant where Padme waits for Ani and she is pregnant.

Ani is called by the Jedi council to discuss his future.The council decides that Ani will not be a jedi master but he still will be on the council.That brings a great disappointment to Anakin.He believes that he is good enough to be conferred the title of master.The council asks Anakin to spy on Chancellor Palpatine.They suspect that Palpatine is upto something.In the meanwhile,Palpatine chooses Anakin as his personal representative.He says Anakain has become very strong and he must have been awarded the master title.

Anakin’s pain and sufferings increase day by day.He starts getting nightmares about Padme and their child.He gets nightmares about Padme dying in child birth.He starts correlating this with his mothers death.He vows that he would become the greatest Jedi of all and he would prevent Padme from dying.One could see much pain and stress he undergoes during these scenes.


Palpatine explains that only a Sith could prevent death.He asks Anakin about his Padme and we as well as Anakin knows Palpatine is the Sith lord.Anakin informs Mace Windu about the developments.Mace Windu asks young Skywalker to remain at the jedi temple while deals with the sith lord.Unfortunately Anakin’s love for Padme turns him blind and attacks Mace Windu.Now Anakin is a Sith lord himself Darth VADER!!!!!Darth Sidiuos(PALPATINE) instills an outrageous thought on Anakins mind!!He makes Anakind believe that the Jedi are trying to take control of democracy and they must be destroyed.Here’s where the dark times start!! Anakin destroys everything and everyone he has ever loved. He changes completely - mentally he is drawn to the darkside!!

The clone army was actually built by the Dark lord!!! Order 66 means the death of Jedi’s.As soon as this order is passed the Jedi are wiped out like every other soul would be in a holocaust-like situation. Except for Obi wan and master Yoda!! Obi wan is emotionally struck when he hears Anakin has turned to the dark side.He says he would go and take on Darth sidiuos rather than Anakin for Anakin was like his brother.Yoda believes obi wan isn’t strong enough to face the Dark lord and also explains Anakin is no longer his old paduwan but a sith.

Obi wan enquires Padme about Anakin’s whereabouts!!She refuses to divulge the information even after hearing that he has turned to the dark side. She boards a speeder and leaves to meet Ani without knowing Obi wan has boarded the speeder as well.She lands at Mustafang and realizes that Ani is a Sith.On seeing Obi wan Ani thinks Padme as a traitor and force chokes her.This leads us into the most awaited lightsaber duel of all times.Obi wan vs Darth Vader.

Eventually Obi wan tops the duel and Anakin is destroyed physically.Obi wan picks up Anakin’s lightsaber and leaves.Darth sidiuos senses that darth vader is in danger and arrives at Mustafang.He picks up the remaining pieces of Darth Vader and gives him a new lease of life.Padme dies in child birth not before giving birth to the legendary Leia and Luke.

I expected lots of death, lots of light sabres, and I definitely got that. The effects were what you'd expect from a Star Wars movie; amazing. It was also interesting to see some of the other worlds explored, for example, the home of the Wookiees (if you like those furry guys, there's lots of them in ROTS). The battle between Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi was amazing, as was the battle between Yoda and Darth Sidious. They have been called two of the most anticipated on-screen battles, and they do not disappoint. I am continually amazed at Yoda's capabilities!
What I did not expect, was to get so completely pulled into the story. I mean, I knew what happened to Anakin, but I never thought it would be so emotionally jarring. You can't help but feel bad for him. In one single movie, Anakin destroys everything and everyone he has ever loved. He changes completely - mentally he is drawn to the darkside and is quite simply destroyed by the death of Padmé. Physically, he is destroyed too, hurt badly in the battle with Obi-Wan Kenobi. When he first becomes concious in the new suit, he is told by Lord Sidious that Padme is dead, and Anakin lets out a terrible scream (actually, it reminded me of Frankenstein). In that moment, you can see that he is destroyed. The chosen one has lost everything, and is now imprisoned in the black suit keeping him alive. It's actually very sad.

That's the best part of the movie. Lucas creates a villain you can't help but feel sorry for. Is Revenge of the Sith the best Star Wars movie ever? Maybe. What could possibly rival the death of Darth Vader? Well his birth of course. In any case, Episode III is much better than the first two. This is supposed to be the last Star Wars movie, and maybe it will be, but I'm holding out hope for episodes seven through nine.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Kaal : Gimme back my money!!!

chimera


Kaal 2/10
Dir: Soham
Cast: Ajay Devgan, Vivek Oberoi, John Abraham, Esha Deol, Lara Dutta


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KAAL: GIMME SOME STORY AND STOP SHOWING KAAL (TAMIL – LEGS)


SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Film tagline : KAAL:ITS TIME TO DIE(For what??for watching this movie???)

If you are looking out for some hilarity trust me you won’t find a vestige of it in this movie but you will find loads of it in here. After seeing the promos one might easily come to the conclusion that this film is about Tigers that terrorize humans. Well, at least that’s what I thought when I saw the promos. If that’s what you had imagined make no mistake about it, that’s bull’s eye. The film is about two bored and pathetic tigers called Vivek oberoi and John Abraham who cant act, trying to kill audience, their time and their hard earned money. This was more like a Ram gopal verma movie rather than a Karan johar one. Well on to the movie now.

But getting back to the movie itself, the basic plot is this: A bunch tigers in Orbit National Park are in a really bad mood, possibly because they’ve just found out that their species is on the brink of extinction. So they decide to turn man-eaters, causing tourists to immediately flock to the park and get killed. This in turn results in Krish (John Abraham), introduced in a Baywatch-style chest-heaving running sequence, and his sexy wife Rhea (Esha Deol) being called there to investigate the matter. At around the same time, Dev (Vivek Oberoi), his hot girlfriend Ishika (Lara Dutta) and a couple of other equally obnoxious friends decide to drive through the jungle for fun.

Snarling monkeys, eering owls and creeping scorpions – The film opens with a scene at Orbit national park , India(Its actually Corbett park) at the middle of the forrest where a group of NGC guys try to get near a Tiger to brush his teeth.Naah!!!!to get a clear picture of that tiger.The guide accompanying them ures them to move forward and says nothing will happen. Well the tiger gets up and has a good sumptuous dinner.

Two months later,Krish thappar(John Abraham) is seen playing with a python(Indian cinema!!Gimme a break guys!! ).Krish is associated with the NGC.And his wife Esha deol is his photographer.He gets a report about man eating tigers at Orbit park. The couple decides to pay a visit to that park.

In a parallel track, four friends — Dev (Oberoi) and superstitious girlfriend Ishika (Dutta), with two friends (Vishal Malhotra and Kushal Punjabi) run over and kill a black cat, before bumping into Krish and Riya. And the story (???) begins

They take shelter in a farmhouse where a tourist guide is allotted for them. This guy talks bullshit about the jungle.Come midnight,people are asleep and suddenly the local guide is taken away and killed mysteriously. Next morning one of Dev’s friends goes missing.These guys after noticing that their guide has gone missing as well they decide to search for their friend .On their way killed.Just before getting killed he tries to disturb the jungle.

Now these bunch of Idiots set out on a mission to find their friend.Their jeep gets stuck in the middle. Tigers come out on hearing human voices.They come and the mere sight of vivek oberoi was so boring they don’t even try to attack.Vivek tries to get their attention by shooting into thin air. The tigers get furious say to themselves lets just finish of with this monkey and get moving.When it looks like the tigers are gonna attack those fools out comes Kaali pratap singh(Devgan).This mysterious man(I call him mysterious because whenever he appears a mantra keeps running on the background) saves the day for these people and the tigers coil there tails and run away on the mere sight of him. He shows that not all the stars are morons in this film. He delivers a lecture about the rules of the jungle and how mone must obey them.He says one must not walk in the jungles,one must not talk crap about the jungles and one must not disturb the jungles. Break these rules, u’ll be kicked into oblivion. They continue their search for their friend only to find his headless body.That terrorizes them.John shows he’s good at more that. one thing by deducing that Tigers do not take away heads and this cannot be an act og Tigerism. INTERVAL

Honesty interval was the best part of the film!!I enjoyed the interview thoroughly.Some respite from those morons!!It allowed me take a break,recollect my lost spirit and prepare myself for another torture-some 1HR.I thought now there will be some story and sense will prevail but only to be fooled again.

Post interval

Sounds too long doesn’t it!!!

The party decides to leave the forest and return home. It starts raining and pelts down.A massive landslide bocks their route.Just when they begin to wonder,appears,Kaal pratap.He says that he’ll guide them out.On their short cut way the car crashes into a tree.The party halts.Kaali pratap settles down in a stone in the river.He says the river is mysterious and one must not believe in that.Vivek Oberoi’s other gets nervy,looses the plot and takes control of the car.The party gets in and in a violent rush of blood zips the jeep past the dilapidated woody bridge over the river.As expected the bridge breaks and some how the jeep manages to hang for some more time.Atleast until other party members sans Vivek Oberoi’s friend manage to escape.Vivek’s friend dies.Kaali keeps saying mysterious things.Kaali talks about a guide who was there and how he used to lead people onto their deaths.One day people of the village found out that he was mad , beat him and killed him He also adds that these might not be tiger killings after all but the ghost of that guide.

They take shelter in an old house in the forrest to while away the time. There’s a well near by and Kaali says no one should go near the well.Esha gets thirsty goes near the well and dies mysteriously.John finds out that Esha is missing and searches for her only to find her dead.Vivek tries to help him get her body out of the well.Kaali stands on top of the well and delivers a lecture again!!!Vivek notices the lack of reflection of Ajay devgan on the well water.That sends alarm bells screaming!!!Vivek asks him Kaali to get some wood burn Esha’s body so that she can rest in peace!!In the meantime these guys do the escaping act. Kaali finds that these people are gone and gets furious!!He reveals that he was the guide who was beaten and fed to hungry tigers!!He explains why kills people by saying that this was his jungle and the animals roaming about were owned by him.

The remaining members of the party escape the jungle!!Thats it and closing credits!!!Most happiest moment of my life as this three hour fiasco comes to and end and my mind is completely filled with consternation.The only thing that kept throught the film and did not make me loose my hart was the fact this was only a film and it must gewt over!!And there was a treat to attend to!!!

Soham Shah is as inept at directing performances as he is at writing an engaging screenplay or building any sort of momentum or pacing visually. Lack of strong characterization tells on the dismal level of performances from the cast. Lara Dutta cringes, cries, and yells randomly, while Esha Deol consistently carries a strange expression on her face that suggests she might have just swallowed a frog. Capable actors, Vivek Oberoi and John Abraham are sadly curtailed by their cardboard characters. Ajay Devgan tries his level best to rise above the non-existent screenplay, but the daunting task of saving the film single-handedly proves too difficult even for him
One would expect a skilled writer like Karan Johar to spot a bad script, and the acute businessman in Shahrukh Khan to keep his money away from it. If a label can sell a movie, “Kaal” is the finest example of it, for Johar and Khan will more than recover their investment by cheating their audiences through a stunning publicity campaign. However, having set a precedent for themselves as quality entertainers, “Kaal” is Dharma Productions’ biggest failure. To put it plainly, this movie stinks.


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Convocation ke Din!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chimera



Graduation Day!

Today was the day to celebrate four years of slogging, four years of companionship, four years of bonds, four years of bliss and four years of lifetime!! There were cheers all around; everyone was ecstatic wearing those yellow outfitsInterestingly i was given an outfit that ressembled a nightie.I couldnt even exchange it for the function had already started.The Chief election commisoner had just finished his speech at the engineering college convocation. Cameras were busy capturing memories, pens were busy writing yearbooks, eyes were busy searching every possible acquaintance one had ever made in the past four years, and arms were busy hugging the best friends who’d probably never cross one’s path again.Cant give the names of people whose mere sight gave me a lot of pleasure for i am afraid i might leave out somebodys name.Friendship is such a great phenomenon!!!I couldnt make out the difference between a 1st year mate and and remaining ones.It gave me the feeling of having been with them for number of years.Main khaidi number saath so chaiyyalis jail ke saalakhon se bahar dekhta hoon.Naah..i can hear people screaming cut the crap u sentimental moron.Thats it for now.Cant write more due to the unavailability of snaps which we took in our college..I will come up with something hilarious for sure to compensate this senti crap..Until then boodbye from the great one.

Monday, March 28, 2005

The award goes to

chimera


The Most Irritating People Awards
I was watching fimfare awards 2005 a few days back.Shahrukh khan films were running riot in all categories.And why wouldnt they,for i believe he is the best there was,he is the best there is and the best there ever will be.When it comes to filmfare awards I am a bit circumspect.They tend to bestow awards on Yash,Karan and SRK.I beleive KAAL will bag atleast 3 awards in 2006 Filmfare awards given that it a dharma productions film.Coming to the point I had this interesting thought!!What if an award based of worst performances was distributed.Who would be the takers for that.I gave that a serious thought and came up with this!!!

Worst Female actor,Indian - Kareena Kapoor
This girl can't act,sings like a crow,makes some horrendous faces.Karishma was much better than Kareena.Her face resembles Idli maavu in its purest form.All she knows to do is to smooch in front of the camera with shahid kapoor in a public place and deny it vehemenetly even after getting caught neck and crop.Only she possible

Worst male actor, Indian - Shahid Kapoor
Disrespect to the word actor.Even Sunil shetty has worked on his acting skills.Now thats saying something!!Looks like a 15 year old kid trying to compete in a boxing arena!!

Worst Indian cricketers - Sachin Tendulkar,Sourav Ganguly
Sachin Tendulkar is the biggest enigma of Indian cricket.Sourav ganguly knows only two phrases.If he wins the match his standard dialogue would be,"Our boys played better cricket".When he loses a match " We didnt play good cricket and the opposition played better cricket and credit must be given to them".Those two reasons are obvious u idiot!!!!!



Worst female actor, Female - Kirsten Dunst
Looks like the result of a disastrous genetic experiment combining an ugly Persian cat with a 10 year old boy.

Worst male actor, Male - Ben Affleck
I don't like his face, I don't like his acting, and I don't approve of his taste in women.


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

chimera

chimera

THE PAPER TIGERS AND DEAD SNAKE BEATERS FORM TEAM INDIA!!!!!



Let me make one thing clear.This outrage is not just because India bravely snatched a draw from victories mouth but these are some thoughts that has brewing up in my mind for quite some years!!

Indian team lacks the Killer instinct!!Indiancs didn’t score quickly enough!!Indians just don’t have the penetrative bowlers.Indians should have gone in with two specialist spinners!!Sachin and Laxman scored too slowly!!Sachin has lost it!Opinions galore!!
Cricket is a game of glorious uncertainity.Glorious when the Australians play and uncertain when the Indians play.

I think too much has been said about the draw at Mohali.Now lets dissect the reasons and justifications for that.This is the second time within a year we have snatched a draw from victories mouth.First time was @ Chennai when we played the Australians.Gillespie and Martyn thwarted us.Even though we could have won the match but for the rain.Againwe had no one to blame but ourselves.This shows we aren’t learning from our mistakes.At the helm we have a captain who himself doesn’t learn from his mistakes as far as his batting is concerned.He still cant play the the short rising delivery well and while running between the wickets he doesn’t slide his bat but plants it in the crease.His attitude towards batting is surely rubbibg off on his qualities as a captain.

One thing that has to be accepted is that we have good bowlers but not penetrative bowlers.Balaji is bowling like there is no tomorrow.Pathan is at his usual best.Zaheer is just a shadow of what he was.Anil Kumble though a great competitor needs a bit of a his type of wicket to do well.This argument boils down to lack of good fast bowlers who can consistently bowl @ 145mph.Every country has a genuine fast bowler who can bowl @ over 140mph consistently.Even Zimbabwe and Bangladesh have one.We are struggling to find bowlers who can bowl @ 135mph consistently.I think until and unless we find a bowler who can bowl consistently @145mph we are going to struggle in the fast bowling deparment.One might argue that Glenn Mcgrath is not an express bowler but still he is the best bowler around.One reason that can be attributed for that is his vast experience,his resilience and onsistency.I would like to relate Javagal Srinath here.Probably Javagal srinath would broken through razzaq and Akaml’s defence’s.

And so-called the great Sachin Tendulkar.I have always believed Sachin is an overrated player.I believe that B.Lara and Steve Waugh were the best players in this era.I will write a separate column about an enigma called Sachin Tendulkar.Calling Sachin an Enigma is bound to raise some eyebrows but I will give my reasons for thatsome time later.Sachin in his prime would never get out bat pad to a bowler.Never ever has Shane Warne and Mutthiah Murali have got Sachin Bat pad ever.Bu he thinks his reflexes and foot movements are getting slower.Because @ 31 Rahul dravid is playing the best he ever has.Inzy @ 35 is getting more and more brilliant.Why in blue does Sachin think he needs to slow his gam down?For the past 15 years he has been successful batting in an aggressive manner.Changing hat sort of a approach which has been part and parcel of his game is bound not to go well his his batting and eventually affecting the team suffering.Or probably does he want to prove that he is a better barsmen that Rahul Dravid??Hmmm!!!Food for thought!!

Why does Laxman merit a place in the Indian team??Laxman is struggling for runs.Still having him in team is going to hazardous not only for Laxamn but also the team.Laxman’s draught for runs has its roots based in the India – Australia seiries in 2004.Right from there he has been struggling for runs.He did nothing against the Aussies.Nothing notabale against the South Africans and Bangladeshis.So that makes it 9 test matches with only two 50’s.No doubt he has the potential and talent to do well.But cricket is a game that is played on the middle and not in paper.Its time that Laxman gets dropped and some other youngster gets a look in.No individual is bigger than the game.


These opinions of mine are bound to raise some eyebrows.But I am ready for your questions.And yeah keep looking for more!!!

Saturday, March 12, 2005

My first blog

This is my first blog.I was inspired by Kartik kannan to blog.I dunno whats so impressive bout bloggin.Probably i dont have the right to comment cuz i havent blogged for a lengthy period.Anyways,will try to improvise my bloggin' skills.Thats it for now!!Watch out for more!!!